


bluebird and the cage

by sleepingpowder



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Murdoc Niccals Redemption, Phase Five (Gorillaz), Trans Stuart "2D" Pot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2019-11-21
Packaged: 2021-02-18 10:41:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21509734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepingpowder/pseuds/sleepingpowder
Summary: murdoc's back from jail. 2D's missed him, probably a lot more than he's lead himself to believe.
Relationships: Murdoc Niccals/Stuart "2D" Pot
Comments: 2
Kudos: 41





	bluebird and the cage

**Author's Note:**

> wrote this with the song slow dancing in the dark by joji in mind. it will enhance the experience to listen to it while you read!

my room was dim, our bodies only illuminated by the lights of the city outside, cool tones that must've complimented my hair, and warm tones that flatter murdoc's complexion.

his crow-like talons grazed across my bare ribcage as he wrapped his arm around me, his other one outstretched, holding my hand. It's been years since we danced like this, i can't help but smile at the thought of our nights in his old winnebago, blaring old slow jams and holding each other close. although i cant help but sulk when i remember how long ago it all seems.

"didja miss this, stuart?" murdoc asked me, sounding afflicted by his lovesickness.

"i did, every day." i cooed back, hugging him closer to myself, if even possible. he seemed dejected after i said that, did he want me to say no? would that have been easier to believe for him? our past, present, and even future have become so complicated, it's hard to know what i should and shouldn't say. i wish i could say the right things to you murdoc, i wish i wouldn't make you sad.

"should i have... said something different?" he's says nothing.

silent oscillation to the beat of the record spinning softly in the corner of my room. i hear a police siren outside, it sounds far away enough to not be concerning but it makes murdoc cringe. i can only imagine whats going through his mind, he isn't usually upset by police sirens and this last jail visit wasn't his first nor was it his longest... why was it different this time? i suppose that's a rather naive thought isn't it, of course it was different, i never cheated on him and wrote an album about how much i missed his love while he was in jail before.

"how was ace?" he quietly mutters out, involuntarily tightening his grip on my hand and averting his gaze from mine.

"at dancing." he added last minute, sounding rather sour. my heart jumps into my throat and i take a deep breath. it was like he could read my mind but i was nowhere near prepared to have this conversation.

"we didn't ever dance, it wasn't like that at all!" i attempted to explain, the carnally charged nights i had with the man running through my head like a movie. i quickly shake my head as if i were physically dispelling the thoughts.

"we weren't.. we.." i stammered out, being afraid to use _that_ word again after all this time, being unsure if its even appropriate right now.

"we weren't in _love_ " i murmured, almost hoping he wouldn't hear.

"i love you too." murdoc replied, sounding quite forlorn. i don't know what he wants, what he needs, its been so long since i feel like i've truly known murdoc. i miss him, i miss his lips against mine and i miss dancing like this every night. i miss getting drunk together and i miss our unpublished nights in the winnebago when everything else in our life was so public, i miss us. does he miss me too, is that why he sounded so sad?

"why do you sound sad if you're talking about loving me?" i asked. "because i hurt you. thats all i ever _do_ and thats all i've ever _done_." murdoc choked out, tears in his voice. i stepped away from our dance, my left hand gently resting on his shoulder and my right on his cheek as i analyze his face.

"stuart, i've been... a bad person... in my life." he continued, placing his hand on top of mine, still fighting sobs. "you don't deserve this, you never did" he finally broke out into sobs and i held him tightly.

"i'm so, so, sorry." he cried, yearning for a simpler time just like i do. the minutes melted away yet they melt like hours as we stood like this, murdoc wrapped in my arms as he cried. he's apologized so many times but he's never sounded like this, with genuine regret in his voice, fighting back tears. i don't know what else to say other than

"i'm sorry too." and thats when words start to come out like vomit, much like the tears i didn't notice spilling over my eyelids that now shut tightly. "i'm sorry i've held grudges on you longer than i should've. i'm sorry i haven't been as understanding as i could be. i'm sorry for going off and shagging ace while you were in jail. i'm sorry fo-" before the linguistic upchuck comes up anymore, murdoc's lips met with mine. a bolt of shock went through my body but i quickly crumpled underneath his touch.

"don't give apologies to me" he murmured into my open mouth.

"i won't ever accept them" his hands running across my torso and through my hair.

"because you have nothing to be sorry for." before he pecking my cheek, ending the deep kiss

"bluebird..." he sang at me.

"we're gonna be okay"

"i hope so..."

**Author's Note:**

> i might expand on this. i adore murdoc so i love to write about him being redeemed, especially in phase 5.


End file.
